When I first came across this question many years ago my reaction was 'Not a lot. After all, how can I? It's just me and nothing I do will change anything.'
But that was then and this is now. Now I know better.
The first time I realised I can make a difference was when I was doing tele-selling. I was feeling resentful that financial circumstances forced me to do a job I despised. I was meant for better things! When I told my life coach how I was feeling he was unimpressed. 'It doesn't matter what you do', he said, 'It's how you do it that makes a difference.'
That was a huge revelation to me. I realised that I needed to review how I perceived my job. I began to see that the purpose of my job was to add value to the client. As my clients started responding to me more warmly I too changed the way I related to them. And, as my attitude towards my job began to change I also started to notice that everything around me changed as well.
As I began to really enjoy my job, relationship with my clients became more enjoyable and productive. My colleagues noticed I was more cheerful and more fun to be around me and that meant that my relationship with them changed as well. As the process continued I also began to feel a whole lot better about myself.
I couldn't believe it: A simple change in attitude and my whole work experience changed! Actually, it was even more than that. My personal life changed too because in the evenings when I left work to go home I was more energised and happy, and I carried those feelings home with me. As my work with Alan, my life coach, continued I felt I wanted to make more of a difference but I just didn't know how.
That's when I met Helen. I had gone to a workshop in London and Helen and I happened to be sitting together. I had never felt particularly comfortable in large groups so I had developed a strategy over the breaks of ambling to the window and looking out, pretending to be fascinated by the view. Not this time, though. When the break was announced she turned to me and asked 'would you like a glass of water?' Nothing earth shattering or particularly clever. Just a kind gesture. I jumped up and replied 'Yes, please. I'll come with you.' When we returned to our seats Helen introduced me to her friend Ros and Ros, who had struck up a conversation with the woman next to her introduced Helen and me to Andrea.
That's it. End of story - except that the repercussions changed my life: Helen returned to the Midlands where she lived and Ros and Andrea and I became really good friends.
Even though this happened about 4 years ago I still think of Helen, how a simple kind gesture changed my life - and probably Ros' and Andrea's as well.
So what's the point of this story? It's this:
I now know the answer to the question 'What difference can I make?'. We can have no idea how we impact on people and, because we don't know we can choose to be kind and thoughtful to whoever we come into contact with. If we learn to make this our second nature there's no telling the difference we can make in the world!
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